American Horror Story Asylum

Sorry folks, this isn’t the same American Horror Story. Before I get into the sophomore season, let me back things up a bit.

I never reviewed the original season. It’s a shame because it had a lot of good qualities aside from the novelty of being a weekly horror drama. The cast was generally excellent, with special consideration going to Jessica Lange as a opinionated, southern, creepy-as-fuck, maternal nosey neighbor. There was a lot of cool imagery to tug at the hair on the back of your neck. And the music and opening credits were inspired.

However, the series had plenty of downsides as well. I usually appreciate tight storylines and in fact often criticize horror movies for not properly tying together and leading to a satisfactory conclusion. American Horror Story definitely tried to do a little bit of everything to the point that it was ridiculous. You had the haunted house with a gruesome history, the doctor who aborted babies and did experiments with flesh including his offspring before succumbing to a murder-suicide, the creepy nosey man who survived a fire, the old lady maid who looked young to seduce men, the Halloween ghost punks, the gimp suit homicidal maniac, the creepy thing living in the basement, Rosemary’s pregnancy, and the husband who fell victim to blackouts and did weird things while sleepwalking naked. This was an excess of horror tropes, but this is why it worked. It was campy and familiar enough to appreciate but well scripted and entertainingly paced. And for the sake of my point I won’t get into the awful season finale.

The series made a bold move for the second season. Use a mostly new cast (some notables return as different characters) in a completely different setting and story. With the above description, I could really see this change being a good thing as well. Clean the slate, come up with a new set of tropes and situations, and start over.

Except Asylum has a much different feel to it. The season so far almost takes itself too seriously. We still have the overlapping tropes (insane asylum, exorcism, UFOs?, experimenting evil doctor, bloody killer ghost, mysterious creatures in the wild, disappearing bodies, exorcism, Nazis, serial killers)- yet, for some reason, something is just off. The pacing is slow, the characters less interesting, and too much is going on at once. I’m inclined to say Asylum suffers from having weaker leads who are less likable but that wouldn’t be enough. Maybe the first season’s appeal was its parlance in the supernatural. This time around, except for UFOs, there are more tangible horrors unfolding.

But how could the writing not be at fault? The episodes seem more disjointed from each other, introducing and removing characters at odd times. It feels schizophrenic, as if the writers kept changing their minds about what themes to emphasize. The progression doesn’t feel consistently paced- why did it take most of the season before introducing the angel of death character?

But even with all that, something else feels off. Perhaps the first season had more of an air of mystery around it, a nagging question about why all these atrocities were happening. The new season isn’t so much a mystery as much as a few key characters being locked up by various evil villains. I mean, I’m sure there will be big reveals in the future, but I’m not asking any specific questions.

American Horror Story Asylum is just a ride that I’m going along for. It is a pleasant one, at least, but only because I’m not particularly paying attention to the road.

Wedding Photographers

You may notice that I’m on a bit of a wedding kick lately. I don’t expect that to stop soon either since these things are expensive. On top of food and drink, invitations, venue, decorations, flowers, dj, etc., you can pay the price of a small car for a wedding (I could insert a joke about which is statistically likely to last longer but that might be in bad taste given my current situation). Figuring out how to cut some of these expenses down is important but you just need to learn to stomach some of them. That said, is there a bigger single expense rip-off than wedding photographers?

After paying somebody 2-4 grand for taking pictures for several hours, they want to then sell you the ‘rights’ to the pictures of your wedding they took? I saw a website refer to these as "digital negatives"! If there’s a clearer sign that something is a rip off then I can’t think of it. Adding a computery word before an old outdated process doesn’t mean that there’s any of the old work involved. Imagine if you had to pay for e-stamps when sending email.

This is simple. If you pay someone thousands of dollars to take photos of you for 6 hours, they should be giving you 6 hours worth of photos. Instead, they just give you 30 "best of" shots and want to sell you the rest. What the crap was the thousands of dollars for?

Another thing wedding photographers want to sell or package for you are the wedding albums, online slideshows, etc. Now this is surely a valuable service for some people but giving me a "best of" physical album and not giving me the pictures I paid thousands of dollars for is missing the entire point. I’m paying for ‘wedding photographers’ not ‘wedding photo album makers’. Let’s not lose sight of this basic fact.

Hollywood Palladium

After seeing a few good bands at bad venues, it was refreshing to get to see Crystal Castles with a good set up at the Hollywood Palladium.

Venue:

6215 Sunset Blvd Los Angeles, CA 90028

Within blocks of the famous intersection of Hollywood and Vine, the Palladium is larger and more convenient than one might expect. Parking in the area is limited and will probably cost you some money but it is very easy to get through the line and get inside. The Hollywood Palladium went through a massive renovation in 2008 and has very nice Art Deco elements throughout. The accent lighting is moody and the General Admission floor is laid with wood. The stage is shaped like an oval and the entire floor area wraps around it and out to give a good view to many, and there are two balconies for a higher view, one of which is usually reserved for VIPs (and thus, less packed). The hallways and bathrooms are roomy and the AC works great providing a very easy and comfortable experience all around.

Show:

Simply put, the lights and sound system at the Hollywood Palladium are top notch. Everything about the venue is new and well planned. It was refreshing to clearly hear the music after the debacle at the Santa Monica Civic Auditorium. The smoke show, however, does tend to get a bit crazy here and can impact the visibility of the act. In this case I’d say more of that was on Crystal Castles and the fact that I was watching the show from the back of the floor. In the past I’ve seen both the Pixies (for a Doolittle show) and Nine Inch Nails (for a Downward spiral show) further up into the mix and had a fine view.

Drinking:

With a bar on each balcony, one in back of the floor and another in the mezzanine area, it is very easy to grab a cocktail and get back to the show. Smokers might be disappointed by the lack of patio- they just kind of stand outside at the front. Food is nonexistent while inside but, it being Hollywood and all, you’d be hard pressed not to see several bacon wrapped hot dog stands on your way out.

Skyfall

Now this is a 007 flick.

Like the previous entry, Quantum of Solace, this film is action-packed from start to end. Skyfall, however, is much more expertly driven from setpiece to setpiece. The flow of the story unfolds in a progression that feels natural and still maintains suspense and wonder.

An odd surprise is that this movie does not cap a trilogy and continue with the storyline of the previous two Daniel Craig entries. This is a nod to rebooting the old characters and structure of the legacy, leaving the door open for an infinite amount of follow-ups. While it is disappointing that Skyfall isn’t a direct sequel and now the series is again left to be a chronology of one-offs, the enclosed story actually works really well and has a clear beginning and ending. Audiences should be well satisfied with the presented package.

You might notice a bit of the cheeky repartee classic to some of the older James Bond movies. While the dialog sometimes approaches the realm of camp, it mostly serves to deliver more humor in a film that, while emotionally somber at times, looks to relieve anxiety with well placed laughs.

Overall, Skyfall isn’t a movie that redefines the genre or does something you haven’t seen before. It doesn’t need to live up to those expectations after the excellent reboot several years ago. What the film does need to be is a great stand-alone experience that doesn’t cheapen the new cannon. The cinematography is well done, the pacing of the action scenes and the emotional beats weave together naturally, and the movie is genuinely fun. Why haven’t you seen it yet?

Breaking Bad

This show confuses me. It really does. On one hand you have some genuinely inspired dark humor and pathetic moments but on the other you can be stuck watching a gruelingly slow show with a plot that at times is a bit formulaic.

Bryan Cranston is great at his role. He straddles the line of caring about his family and finally feeling alive by saying ‘fuck it’ well. The side characters in the show are where the weaknesses lie. His drug dealer buddy Jesse starts out as just a foil for trouble and the back and forth banter between them is agonizing. Yelling at each other only stays interesting for so long. The wife suffers from the same problems. She’s sick of the lies and the constant berating wears thin. There are definitely some interesting moments between these characters but the status quo gets tired.

The second season is a low point of the series. With the writers seemingly not knowing exactly where to take things but having twice as many episodes, it is a recipe for disaster. Indeed, the finale lynchpin that is teased the entire season starting with the opening of the season premier is a complete letdown of a climax. The randomness and unimportance of the event completely tricks the audience and is simply lazy writing.

However, seasons 3 and 4 grow Breaking Bad into a must-watch series. Walt and his wife come to terms with their relationship in a couple different ways, Jesse (mostly) gets his shit together, and an interesting business arrangement propels the cast through a gripping 26 episode story arc that will leave you on the edge of your seat. It might be painful to sit through season 2 but what follows makes it easily worth it.

The final season is split up into 2 mini-seasons, ending next year, and I haven’t seen any of it yet. This is a series that lingers in your thoughts when you’re not watching and I find myself anxious that I can’t see the Breaking Bad finale for a while longer. Like the famous blue meth that is the subject of the show, I have to admit the hooks are in me and I’m now going through withdrawal.

But I’ll get my fix soon. I just hope the last 16 episodes can fly as close to the sun as the best moments before them.

Cloud Atlas

Wow. I never knew the Uncanny Valley could exist in live action. I expected to see a deep interconnected story with a clever ‘tie it all together’ ending and instead I felt like I was watching an Eddie Murphy or Martin Lawrence movie where the same actor plays 5 different roles bedecked in various levels of ridiculous makeup. If there’s anything we learned from Prometheus, it’s that it’s 2012 and old man makeup STILL doesn’t work. We seriously need to stop using it.

Seeing an Asian girl in white person makeup with freckles was pretty creepy. Ditto for the white guys with Asian eyes. But even the regular makeup work was awful. Hugo Weaving played a devil character that was literally wearing Halloween face paint. Independent or not, this film’s budget was over $100 million yet it looked like it was made by a rookie team. Not really sure if I expected more from the Wachowski siblings.

But the makeup, while a good (and visual) talking point, is not the primary fault of Cloud Atlas. The movie is boring. It doesn’t resonate. The stories are fairly generic or straightforward and generally don’t warrant watching. The beginning of the movie asks viewers to be patient with the constant time jumping because eventually everything will tie together but when the credits rolled I was still unsure of the purpose of it all.

I’ll honestly come right out and say that maybe I don’t get the movie. Maybe the point is truly over my head. It’s likely, at least, that the book delves further into meaning than the film is able to, but what I saw was a collection of actors in bad makeup playing out classic movie tropes and stories in different settings, with no real clever connections between times or even a payoff at the end. I didn’t particularly feel attached to any of the lifeless characters and the cross dressing and race-transforming makeup was utterly distracting. A common theme among the stories was that of oppression, and that the strong prey on the weak, but even this didn’t translate into a good message or have a lasting impact.

By all accounts it sounds like I expected too much from Cloud Atlas but, the funny thing is, I wasn’t especially following its release and didn’t know anything about the story. I wasn’t even planning on seeing it but I went to the theater with friends. But the entire structure of the movie and the gravitas with which it is presented demand it be looked at through an epic lens and instead all I can clearly see is a puffed up 3 hour flop.